Being alpha

Posted on: 18/05/2009

When I received a spam-email preaching How to Become an Alpha Male – A Lazy Man’s Guide to Easy sex and Romance- instead of the regular Rolex/Viagra offers, I felt  tempted to check this kind of advice pages for men.

Oh yes, yes, yes!

I found sites related to speed seduction, giving hints on the following (the list isn’t quite complete, it’s only my selection):

  • how to approach a woman and get her interested in you (including what to say)
  • how to date2-3 women at once
  • how to get a woman chasing you all the way to the bedroom and practically begging you for sex

Oh yes, yes, yes!

You can also adopt the alpha male characteristics listening to special subliminal mp3 albums. Some of the examples of subliminal messages include:

  • being with me is the best possible choice a woman can make
  • I have strong personal magnetism
  • I am a powerful man

Oh yes, yes, yes!










“ Alexandra Shulman, editor of Vogue, wrote in a recent column that alpha female would never get lost on the North Circular, and would look good in a miniskirt. Is she, like Shirley Conran’s Superwoman, all things to all people? Is alpha female someone we like, or admire? Does she even exist? (…)

“Alpha female is pretty exceptional,” says columnist Polly Toynbee. “There are not a whole lot of people trying to be like her, whereas there are a lot of men behaving in the same way, clambering over each other to reach the top of the tree. Those women who do get to the top are mavericks, hybrids and deny that they are like other women. Women do not like alpha female very much, nor do they want to be like her. Women want to be liked, which holds them back.”

Oh yes, yes, yes?

If your knees are already trembling, have a look at the following 6 signs meaning that you are dating an alpha female


1. She acts unimpressed by your romantic gestures
An alpha female is used to men chasing her, so don’t be surprised if cliche gifts like flowers and chocolate don’t impress her. Remember this: her expectations are higher than most women’s, so you will have to be a little more original to get her attention.

How to counteract it: Try writing her a personalised letter and leaving it on her windshield, for example. Or make her lunch and bring it to her at work. Whatever it is, be different.

If she still acts unimpressed, do continue to make kind gestures, but don’t go overboard. This type of woman is used to men going crazy for her, and you will stand out more if you can keep your cool.

2. She continues to date other men

Clearly, she doesn’t want to commit. The alpha woman always has several men on the go and likes to keep her options open.

How to counteract it: The only way to deal with her wandering eyes is to do the same. In other words, fight fire with fire and continue to date other women until you discuss otherwise.

How to handle her if she never calls you back, always insists on paying her share, is demanding, and more…

3. She’s hard to reach

The alpha female is a busy woman, or at least she is very talented at making you believe that. She likes to have you at her beck and call and wants you to work around her schedule.

How to counteract it: Don’t become the last-minute, just-in-case guy — that won’t earn you any respect in the long term. Make sure she realizes that you have your own commitments by not working entirely around her schedule. Do continue to pursue her if you think you have a shot, but be casual when you call. And definitely don’t call more than twice before she calls you back.

4. She insists on paying her share of the bill
If she always insists on going Dutch, she might be pulling one of her fancy alpha tricks. Why? Because if you never treat her, she’ll never owe you anything. Nada.

How to counteract it: Continue to offer to pay on dates, but if she seems adamant about paying her share, don’t insist. If you want to avoid the whole awkward bill-splitting moment, tell her you’ll take her to your “secret spot” and bring along a picnic to surprise her.

5. She is demanding

She continuously asks you for favours and you are eager to do them for her. Sound familiar? The alpha female is used to having men pursue her and give in to her every whim. But as tempting as it might be to jump every time she tells you to, do not allow yourself to become her puppy dog.

How to counteract it: Keep your dignity and do only what you feel is within reason. You will earn yourself far more respect in the long run if you don’t jump through all the hoops she sets out for you.

6. She is sarcastic and condescending to you

If she constantly talks down to you and makes rude or mocking remarks, you need to defend your honor and fight back with equally witty comments. You never know what the alpha female might say, so you always have to be “on” and ready for verbal combat.

How to counteract it: Use a negative hit only when absolutely necessary (something mildly but not overly insulting). This will throw her off balance and threaten her feelings of control. However, if your exchanges are consistently negative and disrespectful, you’re probably better off moving on; you shouldn’t have to put up with her abuse.

If it does not work… well, try to love her. Perhaps she is into non-alpha males after all;-)

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